One thing I've learned about living away is that when one thing seems to go wrong, everything can turn sour pretty fast. Being far away doesn't really phase me during my normal routine, but when something goes wrong-- like my co-adviser e-mailing me to tell me my translations were bad, which is what happened this week-- all of the sudden distance becomes more imprisoning than usual.
That, to me, seems like a disadvantage of 1.) living away, 2.) living alone and 3.) living at school. When school gets tough, there's really no escape. Last week, I got stuck on a paper and received some pretty humbling comments about my ability to translate Chinese into English (which, by the way, which I've never even advertised competence in). Since friends were away, there was really nowhere to go-- except to bed, that is. Thankfully, after some coffee and music and sleep I managed to pull myself out of my lousy mood. And I'm not stuck on my paper anymore. Things are looking good again.
Couple of lessons I've learned:
1.) I absolutely can NOT focus on the distance, or how long I've been here, or how long I've got to go. That just makes things harder. It's really best just to keep busy and not think about the time at all. I'm reminded of Kyle's perpetual obsession with next weekend, and the time.
2.) Things are easier when I take the time to voice chat or video chat with people, especially Casey, rather than just use Instant Messenger.
3.) I can't be afraid to take some time off-- a day, a couple of days, etc-- to recharge. In an environment where there are few escapes, it's important to remember to set some time aside for myself.
4.) I must be able to shrug things off when they go wrong. When my Chinese is criticized, when I do poorly on a paper, when I make some other mistakes... Ultimately, my life and general well-being are so much more important than succeeding at school. Does that mean I should just give up school and pursue happiness somewhere else? Of course not. But does it mean school is worth throwing myself into regular panic over? No way. I've never stressed about school and, honestly, that's how I've managed to enjoy learning all this time whereas others I know can't stand the academic environment. This advice, I think, is true for anyone regardless of where they are in life.
Anyway, that's it for me this week. I intended to update on my trip to Shenzhen, but I wasn't allowed in the city. Americans aren't allowed to go there without a Visa anymore. If I were Canadian, I would've been allowed in :P.
Sometimes I lose sight
of where I'm going,
fanned by a flame that
I can't remember.
But distant lights
still burn bright.
And the roads go on forever....
-Fates Warning
of where I'm going,
fanned by a flame that
I can't remember.
But distant lights
still burn bright.
And the roads go on forever....
-Fates Warning
I think you learned some good lessons this week! This post really shows that you thought a lot about your situation (as well as what I said to you) and that you understand what you need to do in order to stay calm :)
ReplyDelete<3 Casey